The Elder Wand
by mrs.bowtruckle
Summary: Harry said that he would put The Elder Wand back, but what if he couldn't, or more accurately wouldn't. Owning The Elder Wand has some serious side effects because it has a power all of its own


Hi there, so I always thought that Harry would be nuts to just put the elder wand back into Dumbledore's tomb, especially after everyone heard everything during the final dual, and I also thought that being possibly the most powerful wand in existence that there would be more at play.

* * *

Harry desperately wanted to put the Elder Wand back into Dumbledore's crypt and never use it again, but something made him hesitate, worried that he was making the wrong decision. He agonised over what to do, not talking to anyone about how he felt, Ron and Hermione's reactions to the wand after he had defeated Riddle showing him how it would be regarded by everyone else, making it, in his mind, unsafe for others to know his doubts.

He wanted to make sure that the Elder Wand would not continue its bloody path through the wizarding word, that it's' extraordinary power would end with him, but at the same time he had felt such exhilaration when he had used it that part of him wanted to keep it with him at all times, be able to use it whenever he wanted, to be the owner of the most powerful wand and have everyone know it.

He sat at the Burrow, the wand in his mokeskin pouch, contemplating everything again, his mind a million miles away. It was some time before he realised that Arthur had walked in and was trying to talk to him.

"Harry... Harry. Is everything ok? You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, more than usual anyway. Do you want to talk about it?" Arthur asked when he finally had Harry's attention, a concerned look on his face.

"No, I'm fine." Harry lied quickly as he plastered a fake smile onto his face.

"Come now Harry, I raised seven children. I can tell when something is the matter."

"Well there is something, but I can't talk about it with anyone." The pressure he felt finally getting to him.

"Why not?" Arthur asked him, the kind look on his face telling Harry that he just wanted to help him.

"You don't understand, it's too complicated." Harry replied, frustrated.

"Tell you what, if it's that much of a secret, how 'bout we do an unbreakable vow, then I can't tell anyone, not without dying anyway." He smiled, his joke lightening the mood slightly.

Harry gave him a weak smile in return, contemplating Arthur's offer to help.

"Ok, I'll tell you, but not here, it has to be private, no one can know."

"All right, then." Arthur told him, realising how serious it must be. "Let's go up to your room and I'll cast an Imperturbable Charm so no one can hear."

They made their way up to his room and once the charm was cast, Arthur looked at Harry expectantly.

"It's about this." He sighed, pulling the Elder Wand out of the pouch around his neck.

"Your wand?" Arthur asked, confused.

"This isn't my wand, well it is, but... it's the Elder Wand. I don't know what to do with it. I need to keep it safe; everyone in the wizarding world knows that I own it and what they would have to do to get it off me. Dumbledore agreed with me that I need to keep it so that it's' power will die when I do."

"So what's the problem with that? You don't know where to hide it?"

"No, it's not that at all. The wand, it has a magical pull about it, I've only used it once but I can't stop thinking about wanting to use it again. I had such an exhilarated feeling when I used it, it made my whole arm tingle and the power that comes from owning the most powerful wand in the world, you wouldn't believe that. It's like I'm addicted." He finished with a look that clearly told Arthur he was pleading for help and if it didn't come, he would drown.

"Harry," he told him gently, "it's just a wand; it can't have that sort of power. It's just an instrument to channel your magic."

"No! It isn't. You don't understand! I'm not crazy!" Harry burst out.

"I don't think that you are, Harry." Arthur continued to use the gentle tone.

"You're pitying me! I can see it on your face. I knew I shouldn't have told you." Harry was on the verge of being hysterical.

"No of course I don't. Why don't you put it back into the pouch? I understand what you're telling me, I can see what you mean about it wanting you to use it, so let's put it away while I think of what we can do." He told Harry, calmly.

Harry nodded his head slowly. Reluctantly he put the wand back into his mokeskin pouch.

As he sat, quietly waiting for Arthur to talk again, he calmed down again, the pull of the wand diminished now that it was out of his hand.

"And you haven't even told Ron or Hermione?" Arthur asked when Harry looked relaxed enough.

"No, they want it, I know they do, I saw it in their eyes after the battle." His breathing got heavier again, his eyes flashed.

"Ok, so this has obviously been hard on you, keeping the secret and I'm glad that you chose to confide in me to help you with a solution. Have you had any ideas about what to do?" Arthur asked, still thinking hard.

"I've got to do something with it" Harry replied, calm again. "I can't keep it near me, look at how I get. Why didn't Dumbledore ever get like this?"

"I'm not sure, maybe with age and use the effect of the wand lessens over time. As for what to do, I may have an idea, but it would mean telling someone else, if that's alright with you?"

"Who?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Kingsley. He may be able to help keep it safe and hidden from everyone. He has methods available to him that the average wizard doesn't."

The difference in Harry was amazing, a few minutes ago he would have accused Arthur of wanting to take the wand, but now he calmly sat there, considering Arthur's proposal.

"Ok, if Dumbledore trusted Kingsley, I can too. He's certainly proved himself these last few days."  
"We'll go and see him now, before he leaves the Ministry for the night." Arthur told him, wanting to find a solution as fast as possible.

He removed the charm on the room and as they went through the kitchen, Arthur told Ron and Hermione, who had just walked in, that he and Harry would be going out and they would be gone for at least a couple of hours.

 _WWWWWW_

As they were now both Ministry employees, they apparated straight into the designated area of the atrium and headed for the elevators.

As the elevator doors opened at the top level Kingsley started, not expecting to see Arthur and Harry there so late.

"Is something the matter? I was about to leave for the night." He asked with his deep voice full of apprehension.

"I'm terribly sorry, Minister, but there is something we need to discuss with you straight away. If I thought it could wait until morning, I would have." Arthur told him apologetically.

"Of course, what is it?"

"We will need the privacy of your office for this discussion, Minister."

"Of course, of course. This way, please." He gestured with his arm for them to both lead the way to his office.

Once they had gotten into his office Kingsley locked it, automatically enabling the protective charms that were in place.

He settled himself into his chair, noticing the serious looks on both men's faces opposite him. He adopted a similar manor and decided that it would be alright to skip the usual pleasantries.

"Gentlemen, what is this about?" He asked; his tone serious.

Arthur glanced at Harry and realised he would have to take the lead in this conversation.

"It's about Harry, Kingsley." He told him.

Noticing that Arthur was calling him Kingsley, he realised that this wasn't about ministry business and he relaxed slightly.

"What about Harry?" He asked.

"The Elder Wand is causing a few problems for him.

"What sort of problems?" Kingsley asked, looking directly at Harry.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, then stopped, instead reaching for the pouch and stopping again. He was ashamed of his earlier behaviour toward Arthur and didn't want a repeat of it now.

"It's driving me crazy." He finally told Kingsley in a quiet voice.

"Crazy? How so?" His concerned tone giving Harry a bit more courage.

"It wants me to use it, when I have it in my hand, I change. I'm not so bad when it's in my mokeskin pouch, but the moment I touch it, I get this yearning of needing to use it, to feel the exhilaration that comes with using the most powerful wand in the world, but at the same time this jealousy that someone will try to take it off me and I can't let that happen. It's my wand now, no one else's."

Things were getting worse for Harry; just talking about it now was sending him into a paranoid state.

"I see, Harry. So you need assistance in this matter?" Kingsley asked him, keeping an even tone, trying not to provoke him.

"You haven't told him all of it yet." Arthur said to Harry, reminding him why they were really in Kingsley's office.

"There's more?" Kingsley asked.

"Yeah, thanks Mr Weasley, it happened again." Harry said feeling ashamed.

"Too many people know that I'm the mast- owner of the Elder Wand. I have to keep it safe & hidden so no one else can take it. The power of the wand has to die with me, it's what Dumbledore wanted. So we can stop its pattern of violence. It's what I want too; I want to hide it so I can't use it and so it stays safe. Can you help? Please?"

Kingsley looked across at Arthur, their eyes having a silent conversation, while Harry sat with his head down, wishing it was all over.

Kingsley was worried for Harry and he could see that Arthur was too, it was a strange situation that he was in, the wand having powers like no other. He would do the only thing that came to mind.

"Harry?" Kingsley asked, bringing Harry back from his deep thoughts. "I want to help you and I know just what to do."

He picked up his wand and Harry tensed up, suddenly expecting a fight. But Kingsley gave him a reassuring smile as he stood up, turned around and tapped the empty portrait behind his desk with his wand, which slid open to reveal a safe in the wall.

"This safe is indestructible and protected by so many ancient charms it's impossible to force it open, we can keep the wand safe in here. It will be away from you and no matter what, it will never leave."

Suspicions rose to Harry's mind again, he tried to push them away, he desperately wanted to trust Kingsley and Arthur but what if it was just a plan to trick him away from the wand so one of them could own it.

"What's to stop you from taking it then?" Harry accused Kingsley. "You have access to it, the only access."

"But I can change that, Harry. I can make it so the only way to open the safe is to have us both here, I can make it so all three of us need to be here if that would make you feel better."

Harry sat silently, he could see no way of keeping the wand now and he was disappointed, and then he silently shook himself. This was a good thing, he told himself.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Kingsley. Don't you agree, Harry?" Arthur said to them both when Harry hadn't responded.

"Yeah, I guess it is. What do you want to do?" Harry sighed finally, proud that he was winning the silent battle that was going on inside him.

"Well to start with, I'll make a box for it that won't open unless it's you that's touching it. Then we'll place that inside the safe and the three of us will seal it together, which will make it so that the only way to gain access to that part of the safe is with the three of us."

As Kingsley was talking, he had opened the safe and removed a small book. He flicked his wand and it opened to reveal to Harry and Arthur that it was a spell book. With another flick of his wand a thin wooden box appeared on his desk.

"Harry, if you could please place your hand on the box." Kingsley instructed him.

He stood up and as he reached his hand out he got a closer look at the open spell book.

"Hey, that's Dumbledore's writing." He exclaimed.

"Indeed it is." Kingsley laughed. "After we have finished with your wand, I think that I will tell you a bit about it. I believe that it is the right time."

Arthur nodded to Harry when he glanced over to him, letting him know that he already knew what Kingsley was talking about.

"Now, Harry, your hand, please." Kingsley told him.

Harry obeyed, feeling much more confident about everything, knowing that in some small way Dumbledore was helping him again. Kingsley pointed his wand at the box; a thin jet of blue light hit it and simultaneously, the top of the previously completely sealed box sprung open.

"This spell is similar to the charm used to give snitches their flesh memories, only more powerful. Forever more this box will only open to your willing touch, so even if someone is trying to force you to open it, it will not. Even after you die this box will stay sealed, the only way to open it then is for you to have passed it along in your will." Kingsley explained to him

"This is brilliant!" Harry told him.

He opened the pouch, got out the wand and placed it into the box.

"Now simply touch the box again and it will seal."

Harry did so, and then picked the box up. He couldn't see any joins and it did not open again.

"If you wish it to open again, just think that. Remember it works by your will."

He opened the box then sealed it again, content with how it worked.

"Now if you will allow me to place it inside the safe, we can lock it and move onto the next piece of business."

Harry passed the box to him, eager to find out about the spell book on the desk. He turned, placed it in the safe and closed the door, then indicated that Harry and Arthur should join him next to the safe with their wands out.

"If you would please say the following spell with me, it will lock the safe and the only way to open this compartment will be together. _Tri-una Patefacio."_

They repeated the spell together and three small holes appeared in the face of the safe.

"Now the only way to get to the Elder Wand is if all three of us place our wands in those holes. Between those two security measures and the numerous others in place, I believe that this will be more than sufficient to keep the wand safe." Kingsley told them both.

"Thank you." Harry told him gratefully, shaking his hand and feeling like the weight that had been hanging over him was gone. "Thank you, Mr Weasley. I really appreciate your helping me." He shook Arthur's hand as well.

"Any time, Harry. Now it is getting late, so I think we should move onto the next point of discussion so we can go home before we have to start work again." Arthur said.

In his relief and happiness, Harry had forgotten about the spell book momentarily. He returned to his seat and looked across to Kingsley who had also sat back down.

"We've been trying to decide when would be the best time to tell you about this since I retrieved it after the battle. Arthur and I both agreed that you were the only person to bring into this and after you put your trust into Arthur and I tonight, I know that you are ready, but you must swear never to tell anyone about this." Kingsley told him.

Harry nodded and felt a shiver go down his spine. Even though no magic had been done, it seemed like he had just been brought into a powerful Fidelius Charm.

"Alright. This spell book is of Dumbledore's own creation. He left it with me before he died, knowing that one day you would defeat Voldemort and that many changes would have to be made. I hid it in a safe place when Voldemort took over, if it fell into the wrong hands it would be devastating to the wizarding world, as I'm sure you'll understand. The photo's that you've all been using to capture the death eaters on the run; that is one of his spells."

"The compass photos? I wondered where they came from." Harry interrupted accidently.

Arthur smiled at him and lifted a finger to his lips, telling Harry that it would be best to just let Kingsley talk.

"Right. Sorry." Harry said.

"He created other spells too." Kingsley continued. "Ways to keep Azkaban safe without the use of the dementors, methods to reduce the spread of the dementors, a few good spells to weed out the traitors in the ministry, just to give you an idea. As well as the spell I just performed on the box for the Elder Wand, obviously."

Harry waited to see if Kingsley would continue, but after a few seconds silence he felt it would be ok for him to speak.

"This is incredible." He told them, feeling a familiar awe toward Dumbledore for being able to plan so far ahead. "It's like he was a Seer. I mean, I know he thought Divination was a crock, but the way he just seemed to know everything that was going to happen."

Arthur smiled at Harry again. "Well I think it was more of a case that he sixteen years to plan anything and everything he could think of after Voldemort's first defeat. But I do agree that things have a knack for working out the way Dumbledore hoped they would." He chuckled.

"This leads us to the next point of discussion, Harry." Kingsley continued seriously. "After Dumbledore died, a name appeared inside the spell book and it wasn't until you were fighting Riddle that it made any sense. I want you to understand that both Arthur and I want to help you with how you're feeling about the Elder Wand and I want you to be ready and comfortable before we ask you this, but if we discuss it now, you can at least think about it." Kingsley finished, looking very uncomfortable now.

Harry glanced at Arthur and saw the same look on his face. A feeling of dread and suspicion settled over him.

"What name was it? Why are you telling me all of this? You're not telling everyone after all." He asked, bile rising up his throat. He tried to swallow but his mouth was dry.

Arthur saw the colour drain from Harry's face and conjured him a glass of water. He gulped it down but it didn't do anything to help him feel better.

Kingsley looked at him sympathetically, but this conversation needed to be had.

"It said 'Draco Malfoy can help.' We couldn't work it out, especially after Malfoy was involved with Dumbledore's death. But it hadn't been there before that night, so we can only assume that he inscribed it into the book during the conversation on the astronomy tower. It was powerful magic to be able to magically inscribe something without his wand and not being in contact with the book, but he was one of the greatest wizards of all time." Kingsley explained. He was stalling slightly, trying to allow Harry to get used to what he was going to say before he said it.

"It had shown up next to one of the more difficult spells, one for the protection of Azkaban, so I'm sure you can understand why we were perplexed. Then you told us why during the duel with Riddle; Malfoy was the owner of the Elder Wand and Dumbledore wanted us to have the strongest protections possible." Kingsley continued. "But obviously by then you were the owner of the Elder Wand, and so now we ask you to think about it and when you're ready, we would like you to help us by using the wand... for some spells."

"You want me to what?" Harry replied, much calmer than he actually felt. "You can't really be serious, can you? Mr Weasley, you saw what happened when I had the wand out. I won't be able to control myself. I'd be one of those dangerous people with the knowledge of these spells."  
Arthur studied him momentarily, gathering his thoughts and choosing his response carefully.

"Harry, we both know that you've been running on revenge these last few days and when you aren't chasing death eaters, you've been consumed by the guilt you feel about everything that happened at Hogwarts. I know that you haven't been sleeping and I knew that there was something else eating at you, I just didn't know what until tonight. But in spite of all that, you asked me for help, you trusted Kingsley, you've allowed us to lock away the Elder Wand. You are one of the strongest people I know and you have a huge amount of self-control. We believe in you more than you can imagine, you have maturity beyond your years and I think that with some time to think about it, you will see all of that yourself and that this is going to be one of the best ways to help re-build the wizarding world. Dumbledore knew that using his wand would benefit everyone, because when Draco disarmed him instead of Snape, he chose to tell us. He could have kept it to himself and no one would have been any wiser, but he didn't."

Harry wasn't sure what to say, in his head he knew that everything Arthur had just told him made sense and was right, but that niggle of fear he felt about the Elder Wand kept him silent.

Kingsley cleared his throat and Harry looked at him.

"Dumbledore thought very highly of you, Harry. He was fond of you and he was able to see what sort of a person you are from the age of eleven. He would not have doubted you for a moment." Kingsley told him with respect in his voice.

Harry thought of the conversation he had with Dumbledore after Voldemort had killed him in the forest. He had only told Ron and Hermione what had been said and when Kingsley had just said that to him, he knew that he and Arthur were right about him.

He looked up at the empty portrait above Kingsley's head automatically and something dawned on him.

"And why have you not said anything yet, Professor?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore entered the frame and smiled, his blue eyes sparkling.

"My dear boy, I thought this a conversation best had between just the three of you."

"If you thought that, you'd be in your portrait at Hogwarts." Harry told him, smiling.

"Oh no, there's too much happening there to get any sort of peace and quiet at the moment."

"Professor," Harry said more seriously now, "If this is what you wanted, why did you tell me differently a few days ago?"

Dumbledore surveyed Harry over his half-moon spectacles, his eyes giving him the impression of being x-rayed like so many times before.

"I told you what you needed to hear at the time, Harry. As wrong as it was for me to do that, I don't think then was the time to talk to you about this, not after everything else you had just been through. It was best to wait a few days."

Harry thought about this and decided he was right, that all three of them were right and that he could do this. He would find the strength and overcome his fears that he had about using the Elder Wand.

He smiled and all three men smiled back at him. He glanced at Dumbledore, his eyes asking the as yet, unanswered question.

"For you, it may never lessen, Harry." Dumbledore told him with a sympathetic smile. "But I cannot be sure. It had such a strong pull over me to start, but as the years went on, I got used to it."

Harry nodded, not that it mattered anyway; he wouldn't allow himself to feel the way he had again.

"So you'll do it?" Kingsley asked, while Dumbledore continued to smile and gave him a nod.

"Yeah, I will."

"Wonderful, Harry. I knew that you would ask for help after a few days, given the right circumstances, of course. It took a strong will to ask for Arthur to help you instead of letting it eat away at you slowly." Dumbledore told him, beaming.

"Wait! You mean this was all a set up? You were trying to trick me! Pretending that you didn't know what was wrong, when you knew all what was happening all along?" Harry exclaimed. He felt deceived beyond belief.

"No Harry, we were most definitely not trying to deceive you." Arthur told him. "When we discussed everything with Dumbledore after you went to sleep at Hogwarts, he told us this would happen and that we would never be able to just confront you with it."  
"I'm sorry, Harry." Kingsley said. "But we thought that letting you have a few days to process everything would be best. To allow you to overcome the internal battle you would be going through and then offer the help when we saw that you were ready."

Harry took a few deep breaths and looked Dumbledore straight in the eyes. "Why didn't you just tell me this would happen? It would have made everything much easier, cut out the sneaking around behind my back that you had to do." Anger seeped into the words, covering the betrayal he felt.

"This was something you had to overcome by yourself." Dumbledore replied simply.

Harry turned his anger to Arthur. "So your concern, that was all just part of this?"

"Of course not, Harry. I have not stopped worrying about you since Dumbledore told us this would happen. I saw the struggle you were having and it was tearing me apart."

There was a tone of sadness in his voice that brought Harry's temper down a few notches. Now just slightly annoyed, he asked no one in particular. "And what was your plan if I failed and gave into the power of the wand?"

Kingsley answered for all three for them. "There was never a moment's doubt from any of us that you would give in. Like Arthur said, and I agree completely, you are one of the strongest people we know."

He looked into each of the men's faces and saw that Kingsley spoke the truth.

"Well, in that case, where do we go from here?" He asked, still slightly put out, but grateful for the trust they had and the help they offered.

"Well from here, we discuss the finer points of the arrangement." Kingsley stated. "As you're out in the field, Harry, we can't risk something happening to you and these spells getting out to the other side. So you won't just be learning them."

"How am I supposed to cast them if I can't know them?" Harry asked, confused. "And doesn't Mr Weasley know them?"

"No, I don't. It's best that I don't know them either. Kingsley and Dumbledore are the only ones who know them." Arthur answered the question.

"There is one spell in here that you can know and I need you to agree to this before we can go ahead with the arrangement. It's _Minutus Obliviate_ and it removes the previous thirty seconds of your memory with no side effects. Arthur has already agreed to this; in fact, I have already used it on him a few times." Kingsley explained.

Harry looked up at Dumbledore. "You really did think of everything, didn't you?"

"I tried, though I'm sure that as time passes, we will often realise that I have not covered every possible situation." Dumbledore told him solemnly, but his eyes twinkled with the compliment.

"Got it. So to help you, I have to let you play with my memory when I'm done?" Harry asked Kingsley with a smirk.

"I promise that I will remove no more of your memory than I have to and only when necessary." Kingsley answered with a hint of a laugh at Harry's expression.

"So when do I start?" Harry asked.

"I think that we can leave it until tomorrow, it's late now and we all need to get some rest. Go home and spend some time with the ones you love." Kingsley stood up and tapped the safe with his wand. Harry watched with interest as it opened, but the box with the wand was not there and he realised that it had a charm similar to Moody's truck and there were many different compartments within the safe. Kingsley put the spell book back into the safe, then closed the door and tapped Dumbledore's portrait again, so it slid back across to cover the safe.

"Thank you Harry. I know this can't have been easy for you; finding out all of this on top of everything else. Your assistance will do more than I can tell you."

Harry nodded in reply, but then felt he should say something instead. "Thank you. All of you. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for your offer tonight Mr Weasley. I was struggling and just... thank you."  
He didn't know what else he could say, but the faces of the three men around him told him that he didn't need to say anything more.

Harry looked at Arthur, but a sudden movement made him turn and look at Dumbledore.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again; the courage you possess is remarkable. Now if I can excuse myself, I must get back to Hogwarts." He said, as he looked down at his glasses as he cleaned them. He placed them back onto his crooked nose and moved briskly out of his portrait, the trace of a tear still visible in the corner of his eye.

"He will never tell you this, but he has been quite worried about you, as have I. The losses we have suffered have been painful enough, but to add this as well. I cannot imagine how you have been feeling." Kingsley told him, then walked to the door and unlocked it. "You should both be going home now."

"Thank you, Kingsley. We will come and see you in the morning." Arthur told him.

Both he and Harry stood up and made their way to the door, bade Kingsley goodnight, shook his hand and walked to the elevator.

 _WWWWWW_

Kingsley watched them until the elevator doors closed then shut his office door again. He turned around to see Dumbledore back in his portrait.

"You handled that very well, Kingsley. Though reminding him of the pain of the losses might not have been wise."

Kingsley walked back to his chair and spun it around to look at Dumbledore as he sat down.

"I did that so he would remember the courage that you reminded him of when he dwells on the sadness. He has lost this particular obsession and now the emotions of losing his friends will rise to the forefront. By associating the two, it may help him."

"He has lost more than any normal person could cope with, he will find the strength to continue, just as he has done every other time. He'll use this to drive him harder."

Dumbledore and Kingsley continued to talk while Harry and Arthur made their way back to the burrow in silence.

 _WWWWWW_

As they were about to walk through the front gate, though, Harry grabbed Arthur's arm.

"Mr Weasley?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I, umm, I-"

"It's ok Harry. We understand."

"It's not that, Mr Weasley. It's just that... I don't want anyone else to know, not even Ron and Hermione. It'll just be easier that way, you know?"

"If that's what you really want then I won't say anything."

"Thanks Mr Weasley. It's what I need. Otherwise they'll want to know why and yeah..."

Arthur put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Of course. I just want you to remember, as well, that we will always be here for you. Don't bottle it all up, we're all going through the same thing, and before you say anything, this wasn't your fault. None of it was."

Harry nodded and turned his head away, bringing a hand up to wipe away the tears. He didn't want to go inside yet, he wanted to compose himself first, and then without warning, Arthur hugged him for the first time.

"Thanks." Harry mumbled, as he continued to dry his tears.

"If you want, go straight to your room, I'll bring you up something to eat in a few minutes."

Harry nodded; then together they walked through the yard and into the house.

It was getting quite late and Molly had been waiting for them in the kitchen, by herself, while Ron, Hermione, George and Ginny were in the lounge room.

Arthur hugged Molly and murmured into her ear, "Let him go," as Harry walked past and went straight up the stairs to his room.

He locked the door, cast an Imperturbable Charm and sat on his bed, staring into nothing.

A few minutes later he heard knocking at the door.

"Harry? There's some dinner here for you."

He waited for Arthur's footsteps to disappear before he opened the door and picked up the plate. He wasn't hungry, but it was the right thing to do.

He sat back on the bed and, just as Kingsley predicted, the grief that he hadn't properly felt due to the obsession over the Elder Wand washed over him. It was unbearable for Harry as he sat there, feeling guilty that so many people died because of him and guilty that because of his behaviour over the wand he hadn't properly felt anything for those people who were his friends.

He sat there, crying for hours, the charm stopping the noise from being heard outside the room, until he felt that he could cry no more. But still, the grief and the guilt were there, consuming his entire being. He felt like the battle had just ended again, the way he'd felt before he'd used the wand for the first time up in Dumbledore's office, and had been overwhelmed by the addiction of the wand.

At the thought of Dumbledore, he was reminded of the conversation he was part of earlier that night. He knew that Kingsley had been trying to tell him that he couldn't forget to be strong and that his courage would help him through the grieving process, but tonight he wanted none of that; tonight he just wanted to be sad, to grieve and let his emotions come out.

With that the tears started again and he made no attempt to stop them, instead he just curled himself up into the foetal position in the middle of his bed.

* * *

To be honest it has been so long since I wrote this that I couldn't even remember what the spells I made up translated to in English so I just googled it:  
 _Tri-una Patefacio_ is Open a tri or wizarding language for 3 to open  
 _Minutus_ translates to Latin for a few different things but I took it at the meaning of small, so it's a small obliviate charm.


End file.
